Just another high school romantic

Desi Distel

Why does this have to be so complicated

like really

why

I honestly just want a relationship

I don’t know

a boy

a dude

a guy I can hold hands with

and say whatever the hell comes to my mind without having to worry about what I say

how I say it

if I sound too gay

if I sound inappropriate

or too crazy

really I just want a dude

and I found one

I want to date him or whatever

I don’t really know

but of course the one dude I had a long term situationship with was his ex best friend

but it wasn’t a situationship

it was just a dumb friends with benefits thing that I kept on hoping would turn into a relationship

I tried to make it be

but it never did

I asked him out not once

not twice

but three times

never worked

and now that his best friend broke up with him or whatever he wants to be in a relationship

and all I want to do

is just shrink and die

because why is my life the plot of a 90s rom com

and now i’m worried for his mental health

because this man doesn’t seem like a person able to deal with all this

I think he’s gonna break

and I don’t know what do do

all I want to do is kiss this boy

not deal with all this

Why is high school so complicated?

Why am I so complicated?

I don’t think i’ve not had a romantic interest in like a year

i’m always dreaming

i’m like a balloon

always going higher

till I pop

I just hope someone can catch me

I hope it’s him

I hope...that it’s not always like this

that I’ll find someone

someday

but can I hope that it’s soon?

without being desperate or anything

Is that too much to ask for?

if it is then I’ll live

I’ll live this life

all alone

just dreaming

dreaming of the day I get to walk down the street

holding a guys hand

and actually feeling like that I’m ok.